George Eliot wrote, “Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person; having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but to pour them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then, with the breath of kindness, blow the rest away.”
This poem is about friendship and love. Love is friendship, or it should be. To me, love really is “feeling safe with a person.” There are romantic elements as well and in my brief experience with romantic love, that feeling safe is an integral component.
On this Valentine’s Day, I am focusing on showing more love to my husband. In our comfort and safety, as spouses and companions, we sometimes get a little too comfortable and safe and perhaps don’t treat each other as we should. Personally, my tongue is often a bit too sharp and my tone a bit too sarcastic. I think I can say anything, hurtful or not, because I am so comfortable. Sadly, my behavior is exactly the opposite of what it should be. This is my goal for Valentine’s Day this year, to focus on being my best self for my husband and not giving him the snippy leftovers.
My husband needs the kind me, not the grumpy me, and our son needs to see that his parents show their love through their behavior towards one another. Actions really do speak louder than words, and I’m embarrassed at times to think what my actions have said. I want my husband and I to enjoy a long and happy marriage, and treating each other with respect and kindness (love) is the way we will do that. That’s my gift that I will do my best to give him each day for the rest of forever.
